Hi fair-weather bastards!
Z-Bo here. Just checking in to say good-bye and see how my trade is affecting the old fan base. You know, I'm hurt. I carried this team through the bad times. Remember when Telfair was the great hope? Sure you do. Who was the man then? Me! That's who! 20 and 10 not good enough for you? Work my (expletive deleted) off to come back from micro-fracture and what do I get? Nothing! No Bobble head, No nothing!
It's all right though, Z-Bo is going to be just fine. In NY they don't care if you go to strip clubs, infact it's practically a requirement. I'm gonna wash you hicks off my shoes and step up to the big time. I'm going to be playing with All-Stars, infact talked to Marbury the other day, and he promises me he's going to average 10-20 pts, 3 assists 10-15 dimes, 2 nickels, and a subway token. The Big Apple is going to love me!
Guess what? I'm taking "The Hoops Family" my community charity organization, with me! A lot of string thonged, clear shoed, pole dancing, community are going to miss all the giving we used to do! Plus you vultures of destruction be warned, I've grown up! I drink coffee now, and most often sleep with all the lights off. I'm taking my new found maturity with me to NY City. Nothing but basketball, and early to bed, early to rise! I'm going to be a role model! Trust Me.
I know it's not everyone. Some fans appreciate me. To them I offer a sincere good-bye. But the rest of you, plan on weeping when I lead NY to a Championship! At first I was upset, but now I feel a lot better. You know what they say about New York, it's the city that never sleeps, and my hobbies are pretty nocturnal so it's a match made in heaven!
Also when I come back to Portland as a Knick, I'm going to drop 50pts on you guys. Fair warning.
OK? Good-bye Portland! You won't have Z-Bo to kick around anymore! Just hate to leave my buddy Miles behind.
Oh and two special personal messages. #1 to the Portland Police, Ha! Ha! I had the keys all the time. And #2. To the unnamed player that requested that I be traded. I know who you are! Better stay out of my way! Ask Ruben Patterson!
In a NY State of Mind,
Z-BO
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